Tarrying, Timing & Trust

(Possibilities & Perils) - Bradley Jersak

My fairly new friend, Ralph Woodrow, has a lifetime of fruitful and faithful ministry behind him, but continues (in his 80s) to bless folks as he finds opportunity. This morning he wrote me and included this tidbit:

“I developed years ago about ‘waiting’ or, as in the KJV, ‘tarrying.’ David “tarried at Jerusalem” and, centuries later, Jesus’ disciples “tarried at Jerusalem.” But what a contrast! David tarried in Jerusalem and fell into sin; the disciples tarried at Jerusalem and were empowered with the Holy Spirit.”

I had not previously considered the connection and contrast between David's tarrying and that of the disciples. But I can personally recall both versions in my own life, and more importantly, it’s a good reminder to be mindful of both the possibilities and the perils of tarrying moving forward.

I’m fascinated by how ‘tarrying’ has played out in decision-making throughout my marriage to Eden. My strength is often in 'striking while the iron is hot' rather than missed opportunities... but this can lead to jumping the gun. Eden, on the other hand, is more attuned to waiting and watching until the time is perfectly ripe... which could lead to lost opportunities.

Gratefully, the two of us eventually figured this out and work together well. By the early 1990s, we learned that one of us (usually me) often holds the vision while the other (usually Eden) holds the timing. I’ve had to learn that Eden’s timing is not simply procrastination or stubbornness or fleshly hesitation. Rather, ‘tarrying’ usually reflects her sensitivity of God’s pace.

As we come to our 39th anniversary, I’m happy to say that the track record of this pattern is something I can rest in rather than repeating the mistake of pushing her. It’s just a little surprising when the roles are reversed, but over time, we’ve gotten the hang of it. Still, booking flights is always a trick. Once in a while, I still book flights way too early. And I frequently wonder if she’s booked too late. Somehow, it works out fine in the end.

We’ve found this vision and timing tip helpful for other couples who have the same division of decision-making gifts. It helps them to know that differing temperaments can learn to cooperate, and that it’s even a God-given gift to our partnerships. I’ve experienced this same dynamic at work with my colleagues. In any scenario, it seems to work best in tandem with mutual trust. That takes time and effort... mistakes and grace. It’s remarkable to me that Eden continues to offer me gifts of trust, given my history of stumbles, but we definitely share our conviction that when one of us seems slow, they may hold the timing key, so pressure is unnecessary.

Coming to ease with timing hasn’t come easily for me, but whatever steps I’ve made have lowered my stress, increased my peace, and life easier for my spouse and colleagues!

blessings,

Bradley